Confused !

My dear , I'm so sorry . I can't decide ! My ex lover 'K' came back to my life ! But I already love my new crush 'A' . What am I going to do ? I'm so confused right now . My 'A' , why don't you just admit ? You're making me more confused than before . If you don't love me , just say so . You're asking me to have a sleepover at your house and sleep with your sister . You made me feel more interested to know about your family when you said your little sister always wanted a big sister . My 'K' already wanted me back but i wanted to wait for you because you've waited for me 2 years ! I don't want to skip this again . BUT if you don't like me , I probably will accept my 'K' back because he already admit that he's wrong for dumping me for a reason . Please do tell me ! I need to know !

My feelings ......

I'm sorry if you think I'm desperate for you . It's just a feeling which I can't hide it anymore . You told me to hear Aslyn song - That's When I Love You . You made me think that you love me and you want me . But you didn't , You're in love with her . What should I do ??? I never wanted to ruin your love story with her . You told me you didn't have a relationship with her , but you didn't tell me you want me ! Okay , I made the first move , it embarrassed but I don't care because I do have this feeling . When you came to my party , I felt I was the luckiest girl on Earth . But you did make me feel special because you told me I am cute and funny when I'm dancing with my peeps . Now , I do feel I've already fallen in love with you . And I think that is the first open-telling expression I've ever did before . Dear , I'm sorry I said this in public but this is the truth . I do love you . It's not 'like' but love . I started realizing that I do , on this morning . You said you're going to have a fever , I was so worried about you . You're my love . When I talked to you , I feel like I'm free ..

BEST FRIEND OF MINE . .

 

He is not my ex lover . He is my new crush . I knew that I already felt a feel that I didn't want it to exist because he's my truly best friend in the world . But unfortunately , I do believe this feeling is real and I think it's for him . I'm sorry my dear friend , I didn't want this to happen . But no stopping right now . I don't know why I'm so stupid to love somebody that didn't love me truly instead of you . I didn't know you've waited for me for 2 years ! I didn't mean to hurt you and make you wait for me . But now I know my heart needs you .Why didn't you tell me ? I already had this feeling since you are the only one who care about me . You told me you already you had a special friend , but now you just tell me that you also had the same feeling . What do you expect from me ? You tell me you like me , but I saw her in your Facebook . What are you playing ?? I didn't like it ! Please be honest and don't make fun of me . If you just like me because I'm your friend , doesn't bother me . But if you're playing with my feeling , it does bother me ! I didn't care if we are meant to be best friends forever but this feeling will never fly away . . . I'll keep this in me . . .

When My Heart Start To Love Someone ....

On 11th October 2007 , I asked my adopt sister , Kak Amy whether she did has his phone number or not because he seem closed to her . Then I felt so happy because she did ! I thanked her for her kindness .
When I arrived at my own town Kuala Lumpur , I quickly called that number . Kak Amy gave me 2 numbers because she didn't sure which one is his .
His phone started to beep .
Sham (his friend) : Hello ?
Hanim : Are you HIM (not his proper name) ?
Sham : No , I'm his friend . Why ?
Hanim : Errrr . Nothing , bye !
Sham : Wait ! He's beside me ! You want to talk to him ?
Hanim : Errr . It's okay .... I...
Him : Hello ?
Hanim : Oh god !
Him : What ? Why ?
Hanim : Nothing . Hurrmmm , bye !
Then , he started to text me . My heart said that I do miss him .
He wrote ' Why do you hang up ? I Said something wrong ?'.
I replied ' No , you don't . I'm just embarrassed .
After two hours , he called me .
Him : Hanim , do you want to be my girlfriend ?
Then I started to feel I need HIM in my life ...

Episode 2 : When He Left School ....

He never came to my class again after the incident . I felt sad because i didn't see him again .
But one day , Kechik suddenly called me .
Kechik : Hanim ! It's him !
Hanim  : Really ? What's he doing ?
Kechik : I don't have an idea . He hold a bag . But why didn't he goes to school ?
Hanim : Don't tell me he's moving .
Kechik : I'm afraid he is .
I quickly entered my class and asked Akila to accompany me to hear what's going on at the office .
Kechik told me everything that happened . He was companion stole money from a form 1 kid . But the truth , he was hanging with Kechik . I don't understand why this happened .
I asked all my friends about it , but they all said it wasn't his fault .
I found out finally , the kid whose money were stolen was being paid to make him left school .
But i was too late . He's gone and I will never able to see him again .

When He Left School ....

Hi . I would like to continue my story about him . The next day after he came to my class with the ice-cream , he came again to my class . Suddenly , he asked my friend . Kechik . He sat on the teacher's desk .
Him : Kechik , what is that girl's name ? The girl who are talking at the back .
Kechik : Which one ? There are Akila , Bhai , and Hanim .
Him : The one who are wearing the black spectacle . ( only on 2007 )
Kechik : Ohh , she's Hanim . Why ?
Him : Ohh , she was the one who making fun of me yesterday .
Kechik : She said something about your ice-cream ???
Him : Yes , and now she'll know who am I .
Suddenly , he called me without calling my name .
Him : Woi !(rude name to call someone ! )
Hanim :    -__-   ( didn't care )
Him : Woi , hey you ! I'm talking to you !
Hanim : Excuse me ! My name is not woi ! I'm Hanim .
Him : Yesterday , you were making fun of me right ?
Hanim : -___-  so ?
Him : Take this !
He threw a small chalk from the blackboard and it hit me !
And I tell you , it HURTS ! It hits my forehead !
Hanim : Hey ! You are begging me to insult you !
Him : Oh yeah ?? Here !
He threw me another piece of chalk !
Hanim : That's it ! This is for your rudeness !
I threw everything i had on my table . I lost my patient .
I had a very impatient fight with him .
Suddenly , his friend , Haziq came .
Haziq : Hey ! Come on ! The teacher is coming !
Then he ran away from my class . And Haziq smiled at me on a sudden . I sat with a sad face because my forehead is still hurt me .