Stay

Today we fight again. I can't say it here why. What I know is I'm hearing Stay by Miley Cyrus. It's like 1 am and I'm crying alone. Tomorrow I'll take an Japanese exam. I already studied and now I can't control my emotion anymore. I just cry all night long since the lyrics is so touched me. I write it, not copy-paste it.

Well it's good to hear your voice,
I hope you're doing fine.
And if you ever wonder, I'm all lonely tonight,
I lost here in this moment, and time keep slipping by,
And if I could have just one wish I had you by my side.
Oh, I miss you. Oh, I need you.
I love you more than I did before.
And if today I don't see your face,
Nothing's changed, no one can take your place.
It gets hard everyday.
Say you love me more than you did before.
And I'm sorry it's this way,
But I'm coming home, I'll be coming home.
And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay.
Well I tried to live without you,
the tears fall from my eyes.
I'm alone and I feel empty.
God I'm torn apart inside.
I look up at the stars, hoping you're doing the same.
Somehow I feel closer, and I can hear you say.
I miss you. I need you.
I never want to lose you, and if I had to I would choose you.
So stay, please always stay.
You're the one that I hold on to. Cause my heart will stop without you.
I love you.

Why I became like this?

Sayang, saya memang bossy. Tapi bila dengan awak, saya sanggup ubah and let you be my boss. But now you've become a beast. You keep on get mad at me. Everything I did was wrong. Kadang-kadang saya rasa nak tinggalkan awak, tapi saya tahu saya akan carik awak balik sebab saya terlalu sayangkan awak. Saya tahu awak sayang saya cuma awak dah sayang saya macam dulu. Esok awak final exam. Awak faham tak saya terlampau peduli pasal awak sampai saya sanggup jadi bossy? Awak pernah kata dulu 'Hanim paksa iman eh nanti nak final? Iman nak belajar betul-betul supaya iman boleh buktikan kat mama yang iman boleh dapat gred tinggi walaupun ada gf'. I was doing my job. Last exam, you got bad for English. So I want you to be the best in exams and be better than me. Saya tak kata saya bijak pasal English, tapi saya nak awak lebih tahu dari saya. Tapi awak sekarang dah lain. Saya taktahu kenapa semua saya buat, awak marah. Awak kata saya cakap awak bodoh. Saya cuma nak kepastian yang awak betul-betul ready untuk essay English esok. Bukan suka-suka. Tak sangka awak ada sangka buruk pada saya. Saya dah tak larat. Dengan mama awak yang keep on saying I'm bad for you. And kalau esok result awak teruk, mama akan tuduh saya rosakkan awak. Sebab tu saya nak betul-betul pasti awak ready nak jawab esok. Tapi awak kata saya cakap awak bodoh. Saya dah tak sanggup asyik kena tuduh. Saya cuma nak terbaik untuk awak. Bila saya tanya 'Sure? Really sure? Absolutely sure?', saya just nak awak balas 'Sure sangat'. Supaya saya rasa lega awak dah jalankan tanggungjawab awak sebagai student IPTA and buktikan kat mama awak yang saya boleh bersama awak walaupun masa study. But now, I'm done. Saya dah taknak jalankan tanggungjawab saya dah sebab awak akan tuduh saya lagi. Saya nak lepaskan semuanya walaupun akan dinamakan pengecut. Saya rela. Saya rela.