New things to do ..

Now , my friends always ask me to read many novels about love .. I always take some books from them because they said the books are some of it about me .. :) Sweetttt ! But the more I red about love stories , the more I think about him .. The more I think about him , the more he's far apart from me .. Why ? You said it , but you don't make it came true .. I'm so tensed right now ! I stayed alone , and no one wants to accompany me .. Usually , he will but now he didn't have much time for me anymore .. So , I made my life a little different .. I called my friends to help me teach me guitar lesson .. It it my interest since I'm little .. If you don't believe me , you can see my singing videos at my Facebook : http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1578343932211 & http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1571158872589 or at youtube : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dD6FTVXV50 .. I love to make song by myself or make song lyrics for him .. But he doesn't know it ... I wish someday he knows it and know how deep my love towards him more than his love towards me .. :) <3

I'm losing you ..

Baby , the longer the time we're far apart , the more I'm losing your attention .. If you think I'm an annoying person , always want your attention but I'm just a normal GIRL .. A girl who needs love surrounded her , some compliments , full attention for her .. Am I wrong for wanting that from you ? Is it too much ? I only love you , nobody else .. So , can't I ask you all these ? I never left you behind like what you did to me .. I'm so sad what had happened to us .. The day before yesterday , you woke up and gave me a text message ;
Him : 'Honey , I'm on my way to work , take care and love you .
Yesterday , you ONLY missed call me .. And today you didn't left a single message or call .. Am I desperate for you ? I'm only want your love just for me .. But I think I'll lose that ..
Sometimes , I create song for you .. I create some quotes for you .. Because I always remind of you .. But you will never know .. I will never make the song videos that I created by my own just for you .. I'll never let anybody hears it before you .. But unfortunately , you'll never know how deep and how honest my love for you .. You're my first love and for sure , everybody will never forget their first loves .. So am I , NEVER ..
But now , you're not the old Kamal that I knew .. You always left me and forget about me .. While I will never did that to you .. Because you're the only one in me .. : )  <3

DREAMING ... zzzzz ...

Last Wednesday (17th Nov ) , I dreamt about Him again .. At first , in the morning I dreamt he came to me .. He wears a black shirt which makes me felt wanna hug him immediately .. HAHA , I'm naughty .. He looks so matured ! Then , he ding dong my bell house .. I was hiding because I haven't take my bath yet .. So , my friend opened it .. As usual , he will asked ..

Him : Where's Hanim ?
Hurin : Uhhh....
Him : Let me in ..
Suddenly , I was there in front of him (btw it's a dream)..
Him : Hey honey ..
Hanim : Hey sayang ..
When , I tried to hug him , he disappeared ..
But then I woke up , I'm in conscious .. He wasn't there , he's not near me..
After Hari Raya Aidiladha , I took a nap AGAIN at my grandma's house ..
And once again , he came to my dream ..
This time he said ..
Him : I love you dear , only you in my little heart ....
When I tried to hold his hand , he disappeared AGAIN !
I'm so frustrated with these dreams ...
But yesterday , I dreamt I am a witch ! I have special magic power .. At first , I used it to make things didn't exist , but then I used it to make pranks for my buddies .. I make their shirt's colour turned different colour .. Then , I make my way as clear as an empty desert even in front of me , there was a huge wall .. It means I can go through it ...
 p\s : If I have a wish , I wish I have a magic power which can bring my sweet lover near me ALL THE TIME  !

Myself is surrounded by JEALOUSY ..

Well , these lovely birds .. Never had the strength to leave each other .. But me ? I'm in love but there's no one beside me .. Sometimes , when I see this couple , I feel jealous ... WHY ? Because I never have a single chance to see him 24 hours and for a longer time than 4 days .. For those who have their lovers near them , appreciate and start to learn how to make your LOVE stay forever .. I always cried when I miss him .. I never had the strength to forget him even for a single second .. But if our destiny is to be together , I'll wait just for him .. When I see Hurin and Ezzat , when I see Ikhwan and Solehah , when I see Syafiqah and Akram , when I see Aini and Darren , when I see Nashriq and Fatin , when I see Durrani and Syeera , ALL of them make me JEALOUS !! Gosh , I don't know how to hide my feelings of jealousy .. I hope this feeling will never make me lose my loyalty to him and choose someone else who nearer me .. BUT I PROMISE THAT I'LL LOVE YOU TILL MY LAST DYING BREATHE .. <3





I LOVE YOU SAYANG , DEAR , DARLING , HUBBY . YOU'RE              EVERYTHING TO ME ! <3

Goodbye .. :'(

(8th Nov)  Oh dear , this is the worst day of my life because he's gone . He's already at Muar , his hometown . I've already miss you dear . Yesterday , we sat together from 8 am till 12 pm at my house . That's my last day with him . He made me embarrassed because I saw he just looked me and hold my hand . When I asked him ..

Hanim : Why do you looked me like that ?

Him : I know I will miss this cute look when I leave  tomorrow .

Then , I just looked him and wondering how am I going to continue my life without him by my side . Durrani fetched him from my house at 12 pm . He told me that he wanted to stay with me longer but I've no choice . He had to follow Durrani . 

At 4 pm , Durrani sent him to my house again . He asked me to cook spaghetti carbonara for him because he wanted to test my cook , HAHA . How silly ! But then he told me that he can't eat mushrooms because of his allergy . I just said never mind but inside of me , I felt sad because I stay up even I'm so sleepy and tired that day . After that , I brought him to our HOME . He rode a bicycle and so was I . We made it as a race but for sure I'll win because I know he will never let me be sad if I lost . I love you so much sayang . . .

And we made our way to the hill (home) , he scolded me because I didn't bring him there since he's here . I ate some buah 'kedondong' because I felt it has been a quite long time I stopped eating it . Suddenly , some sticky liquid came out from it . He quickly took it from my hand and bit it so that I will never eat it . Then , I realized that day is the last day I'll be with him . Suddenly , I cried because I don't want to be apart from him . He wiped my tears and promised me he will come back this year . 

Hanim : I don't mind if you want to come back , but I don't want you leave . 

Him : Sayang , I'll come back just for you dear .

Hanim : Honey , if I eat kedondong or sit here again , I'll remember you .

Him : You'll promise me you won't find another boy ? You promise me you will never leave me ?? 

I nodded but my heart didn't have the strength to say yes . Then , I said his name .

Hanim : Honey ?

Him : Hmmm ..

Hanim : Why don't you want to see my face ??

Him : I won't have the heart to leave you and this place ..

After then , we say goodbye .. He sent me a text message , 'You took my heart , your friends and this place too . I'll come back .. I promise ..'

And then , I told myself don't cry because I love him so much .. <3